Anti Twilight Association: Why I Hate Twilight
by SarcasticTraitor
Summary: Why fan girls should just simply give up Twilight and go read some other great book instead...Part 1: Quotes by people all over the world. Fire is APPRECIATED. Go on - we'd love to hear from you.


**The Anti-Twilight Association**

**aka "I Hate Twilight"**

**Written by a gang of Twilight Haters who managed to get their hands on VampiricTraitor's account.**

**- Sorry, whoever VampiricTraitor is. We have just ruined your reputation. He, He, He.**

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Peoples. Take your nose out of that Stinking Twilight book!

The Anit-Twilight Association is now going to wake you up from your pointless Twilight dream.

Today, we will start with...quotes from real people.

Ready? Lets go.

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**Part 1: Quotes**

_Stephen King, bestselling novelist and pop-culture writer. What could the man who is best known for stunning literary masterpieces like Pet Cemetary and Cujo possibly have to say about the new gothic mistress?_

While both Rowling and Meyer are speaking directly to young people, The real difference is that JK Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer **can't write worth a darn**. She's not very good.

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_A sign that young people are getting desperate: quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers._

And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.

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_A professor of World Development has his own say:_

The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old - and he'll never come. '

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_A Woman fighting for the Woman's rights of girls in countries such as Africa, India, Iraq and so on:_

Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.

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_Children Rights' Manager:_

Isn't it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn't question her? Real parents aren't that way.

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_Facebook user complaint:_

Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.

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_Twilight Cover Designer:_

If the first **200 pages** of your book rely on the mystery of a character's identity, don't slap "First, Edward was a vampire" on the back cover.

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_The Anti Sexual Cooperation:_

It's just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.

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_Another Facebook User:_

Vampires vs. werewolves (isn't that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)

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_Greenworld Worker:_

This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.

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_Another Greenworld Worker:_

Vegetarians? Wow, James, Laurent and Victoria are vegetarians - at least they don't eat animals...

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_Name Convertor:_

New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward

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_Ginny & Ron Weasley_

Harry Potter could beat Edward any day with his magic powers.

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_World Health Cooperation:_

A hundred years difference = pedophilia. Why has no one realized this yet?

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_Another World Health Coopeartion:_

Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme?

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_Another Anti-Sexual Cooperation:_

There's something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.

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_A Normal But Divorced Man_

You want to keep Twilight away from your wives and daughters, dudes. Or else they will start expecting you to be handsome and sparkling vampires any day now.

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_Oxford English Professor:_

It's teeming with grammatical errors, and fan girls are just too obessed to notice it.

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_Harvard Biology Professor:_

Straight men sparkle?

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_Cambridge Language Professor:_

Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.

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_Sarcastic Person, referring to the two quotes above:_

Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.

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_Famous Baseball Player:_

Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.

_

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_Comedian Charles Chaplin:_

It's too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?

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_World Renowned Physiologist:_

The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.

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_Mary-Sue Researcher:_

Bella is a perfect character ("Mary Sue"), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy. And being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.

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**So _that's_ what people are saying about Twilight all over the world.**

**We appreaciate fire; we are actually _ready_ for it, since we know that you are a Twilight fan.**

**Go on. Bring your nasty comments to us!!!**


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